My Tarsal Tunnel Journey

To make a very long story short, I am once again asking for your prayers. 

I will be having foot surgery on Thursday, and need prayers for the success of the surgery and a smooth recovery.

Just before Christmas last year, I was hurrying in the kitchen, and slammed the inside of my ankle against the door of the open dishwasher.  I really slammed it hard – so much so that we thought it could be broken.  When x-rays came back negative, we treated it like a bad ankle sprain: lots of ice, elevation, and rest.

But, it didn’t get better.  So, I was put in a walking boot for 6 weeks.  Still, there was no improvement.  So, my doctor recommended that I try resting it completely – no weight bearing – for a couple months, to see if that helped.  I used a nifty knee scooter to get around the house, crutches when we went anywhere, and relied heavily on help from family and friends to get through our days.

However, instead of simple ankle pain, I was now getting symptoms of nerve compression or injury.  I had hot/cold sensations, shooting pains throughout my entire foot, tingling, and was losing function.  At times, I couldn’t curl or wiggle some of my toes!

After bouncing from specialist to specialist and undergoing a myriad of testing, we finally found a foot & ankle orthopedic physician that was able to help me.  He diagnosed me with Tarsal Tunnel Syndrome, meaning scar tissue and inflammation from my injury was compressing one of the major nerves that runs along the inside of my ankle, then branches to innervate most of my foot.

We tried every non-surgical treatment possible, because surgery just isn’t ever the best option for a busy mom with 5 kids! There is also no guarantee that surgery could fix me, so we tried:

• nerve medications
• anti-inflammatory medicine
• months of rest, followed by months of physical therapy
• TENS (Transcutaneous Electrical Nerve Stimulation)
• expensive, custom-made orthotics
• really expensive shoes that felt better than the orthotics
• and finally, a steroid injection

After all of that, I had a couple months were I was feeling pretty great again.  I could do small grocery-store trips, walk out to the swing set with the kids, and stand in the kitchen long enough to prepare a meal.

But, when the steroid injection wore off, I was back to where I started.  We tried a second injection, but it had less effect than the first.  We even tried replacing the offending, dangerous dishwasher and remodeling the kitchen! (Did I mention this has been expensive?)   While that did make me feel a lot better, it didn’t do much for the pain. 🙂

I am in quite a bit of pain every day, and many nights the pain keeps me awake.  In many ways, I have learned to live with the pain. If you come in my house, you may not even notice that I lift one foot off the ground while I’m doing dishes, or that I am walking around with an ice pack strapped to my foot.  If we’re standing around talking, I may rest my knee on a chair, or suggest we find a place to sit down.  But, by the end of every day, I am hurting a lot.

At this time, my best chance of feeling better is to have the Tarsal Nerve Release surgery.  On Thursday, my surgeon will clear out any scar tissue that is compressing the nerve, and remove a tendon sheath to give the nerve more space.  After the surgery, I will be in a cast for a month, with no weight-bearing, then in a walking boot with physical therapy for 4-6 weeks.  If all goes well, I will be back to hiking and waterskiing before too long.  My surgeon is confident that I will be able to go back to doing all of the things I love to do, and be pain-free after the recovery period (which may take up to a year).

However, there is no guarantee that the surgery will be successful.  This procedure has a higher failure rate than I would like, so I truly need and appreciate your prayers.

Maybe, while I am sitting around with my foot up after surgery, I can catch up on posting some cute kid photos on the blog! 

In the meantime, here’s Matthew enjoying some time on our boat this summer:

 

To My Friends that Marched

I have several friends and family members that participated in various “March for Women” events across the country last weekend.  These are lovely ladies, with good intentions, intelligent minds, and loving hearts.  Each one had their own reasons for participating, but I felt my own heart sink as their proud pictures came across my facebook feed, one after another.

My problem with the march is that it was made very clear that the pro-life viewpoint was not welcome to participate in the march. And this is not just an issue that is “very important to me,” but is an issue that is at the very core of who I am, and everything I believe in.

I have had strangers look at my disabled son and say, “Didn’t you know when you were pregnant?” Strangers, who never even want to see the beauty of his life, but rather think the world would be better off without him.  I wish you could see their shocked and horrified faces when I say, “Yes, we did know.  And we chose life for him.”  I have to explain to Matthew, and to his brothers and sisters, that he doesn’t have any friends that are like him, because over 90% of parents choose to kill their child rather than raise a child with Down syndrome.

We know, without a shadow of a doubt, that life begins as conception. It is an indisputable scientific fact. So, how can I possibly be “okay” with someone making a “choice” to end a life? A baby is not a body-part of its mother. It is a human being. And, if we don’t have the right to life, no other rights matter.

The women’s march claimed to stand for “disability rights.” What about the rights of the 90% of babies with Down syndrome who are brutally killed? The women’s march claimed to stand against “violence” except for the ultimate act of violence committed against 60 million of our most vulnerable citizens since Roe V. Wade.

The women’s march claimed to stand for “civil rights,” but Margaret Sanger, the founder of Planned Parenthood, wanted to eliminate the black race by using abortion. To this day, a disproportionately large percentage of Planned Parenthood clinics are in neighborhoods with minority populations. A disproportionately large number of minority children are killed.  In 2004, the rates of abortion by ethnicity in the U.S. were:

• 50 abortions per 1,000 black women
• 28 abortions per 1,000 Hispanic women
• 11 abortions per 1,000 white women.

An outrage? Absolutely!

Pornography has been shown to be a root cause of much of the violence against women that is present in the United States today. It is also a root cause of child sex-trafficking. I can’t think of anything that is more degrading and objectifying of women, and yet it wasn’t mentioned at all in the Women’s March. In fact, the lewd attire of many of the participants only objectified us more. If we are more than our body parts, let’s not dress up like our genitalia.

As for religious freedom, what about the freedom to not pay for contraceptives and abortions that oppose a person’s religious beliefs? Many contraceptives are abortifacients, and groups like “Little Sisters of the Poor,” and Christian citizens should not have to pay for them.

As Matt Walsh said,

“Before the march even began, abortion on demand had been proclaimed an essential “unity principle” of the so-called “Women’s March.” They were so serious about this principle that pro-life groups were barred from participating. It’s fair to say that once a political demonstration cites baby murder as a fundamental value, nothing else it stands for really matters. I cannot take a march seriously after it has professed an affinity for child killing just as I cannot willingly consume your homemade chocolate cake after you inform me that fecal matter is one of its ingredients.”

Even Hitler had some perceived “good points” in his economic reform policies. There was a reason he was elected by the people.  However, none of us could say that we admire or support him. Because of the Eugenics he attempted, and the 11 million lives he ended, we would never stand at a rally and shout, “Hail Hitler!” because we thought his “other policies” were great. I can’t support this march or this movement for the same reason. Abortion is our holocaust, ending the lives of the disabled and minorities.

I will be marching this weekend at the March for Life, and I hope you will all join me.

#WhyWeMarch #walkforlife #marchforlife

. . .

Addendum:  There are two women who wrote excellent, related articles.  They were able to touch on subjects that I did not have room or time to cover.  Please go check them out, and be as encouraging and uplifting to them as you have been to me here!

To My Sisters Who Marched on Washington by Jenny Uebbing reminds us that we were not created to be equal to Men.  Modern feminism seeks to destroy the wonderful uniqueness we were given as daughters of the King

An Apology From A Woman Who Didn’t March by Ruth Meyer reminds us that the freedoms we enjoy in the United States are only a dream for women around the world.  Before we cry that our “rights” have been violated, we should remember our sisters throughout the world who truly long for the rights and freedoms we enjoy every day.

Celebrating You

Dear Matthew, my precious son,

8th birthday

Today we celebrate you.  Nine short years ago, you came into this world and stole our hearts.

You learned so much this past year.  You can dress yourself, put your own shoes and socks on, and buckle yourself in the car.  Your speech and reading skills keep improving, and you understand just about everything we tell you.  You can follow directions so much better than you did even just a year ago, and your conversational skills keep impressing me, too.  You have started to be very funny, on purpose.  You definitely love to make people laugh.

You love to be helpful, whether that means getting a gallon of milk from the downstairs fridge, helping to set or clear the table, shopping for and unloading groceries, or helping Nathan with something he needs.  You can even start a “Signing Time” DVD all by yourself, “for Nathan,” of course, but you are kind enough to sit and watch it with him.

These are my favorite things about you:

Your smile

When you say, “I did it!  I did it myself!” 

The way you love your siblings, and the way they love you

Micah said just yesterday, “Mom, I just love people with Down syndrome!  I just want to be around them and spend time with them!”

Your curiosity,

and the way you love all of God’s creatures … but especially dogs, horses, and cows!

Your Joy

Your love for God and His Church

How fitting it is, that your heart is where your physical miracle took place.  Your heart is so connected to your Creator.  Your pure and precious heart is capable of the deepest, purest love I have known this side of heaven, and you love our Lord completely.

You have touched more hearts than we will ever know.

You are incredible, and we are very proud of you.

I love you, my Matthew, and I am so blessed to be your Mommy. 

 

Update on Clara Ray

Little Clara had heart surgery today.

Going into the surgery, the doctors didn’t know if they would be able to do a 2-ventricle repair, or if they would need to make her heart function on 1 single ventricle.  They had to wait and see how she did during surgery, and see how her heart looked.  If a single ventricle was necessary, it would take at least 2 more open heart surgeries to complete the process of converting her heart to function with a single ventricle.

I am so very happy to report that the surgery was incredibly successful.  Not only were the doctors able to preserve both ventricles, but they were able to “fix everything,” according to her mama.  Every hole in her heart and every leaky valve is fixed, and she has a permanent pacemaker.

The next 24 hours are the most critical, and the doctors are watching her closely, but for now, no more major surgeries are on the horizon.  She is expected to recover over the next several weeks, then go home in her Mommy and Daddy’s arms.

To God be the Glory, now and forever.

 

 

 

Welcome, Clara Ray!

Yesterday, another heart warrior was born.  The doctors are already calling Clara Ray a miracle.

During her mother’s pregnancy, the doctors saw a combination of heart defects they had never before encountered at Boston Children’s hospital.  Although they had seen each defect individually, they had never seen all of the problems occur in one baby.

Clara had a full heart block, a complete unbalanced AV canal, Hetetotaxy syndrome, and hydrops, among other defects.

She wasn’t expected to live past 20 weeks, and of course, the doctors offered her parents an abortion.  Her brave and faithful parents, Johanna and Craig, refused the abortion and started to pray.

It was soon after this that Johanna found Matthew’s story with an internet search, and contacted me.  It has been incredible to watch their journey, celebrating each milestone with them.  When Clara’s heart was still beating at 28 weeks, she had already proved the doctors wrong.  Then came 30 weeks, then 35, and Clara still held on.  She was born early yesterday morning at 38 weeks, weighing 6 lbs, 9.6 oz.

Clara is not out of the woods yet, and still needs our prayers.  She will most likely need a pacemaker soon, and open heart surgeries after that.

Johanna and Craig’s faith is strong, and they have continued to pray, giving God all the credit for each and every step along their journey.  We are so thankful that she is finally in her Mommy and Daddy’s arms, and we praise God for this miraculous little fighter and the gift of new life.

Click on the links below to follow her journey:

GoFundMe page at Clara Ray’s Heart Journey or Facebook at Prayers for Clara Ray

Birthright International Conference

Last weekend, I had the honor of sharing Matthew’s story at the Birthright International Conference in Newark, NJ.

If you are not familiar with Birthright, it is a wonderful organization that offers free, nonjudgmental help to any woman facing an unplanned, unwanted, or difficult pregnancy.  Their website says, “The essence of Birthright is love,” and we found that to be true as we were welcomed with warm and open arms by all of the delegates at the conference.  What an incredible group of women and men, all of whom have dedicated themselves to “loving both.”  They love all babies, born and unborn, and love their mothers no matter what the circumstances.

I shared Matthew’s story as the keynote speaker at the conference banquet, and it was very well received.

Aaron and I also got to see a part of the country we’d never seen:  New York City!  It was a lot for this small-town-girl to take in, but we had a lot of fun.  We walked through Central Park, rode the elevator to the 86th floor of the Empire State Building, and experienced Times Square and the busy, busy streets of the Big Apple.

Therapeutic Riding

In the Spring of 2013, our little Matthew was a tiny six-year-old boy.  He was about the size of an average 3-year-old.  Our sweet boy had seen so many doctors, had so many surgeries, and had been to so many therapists in his short lifetime, that Matthew decided he was done with it all.  We dropped out of speech and physical therapy, because Matthew was refusing to cooperate during the sessions despite everyone’s best efforts.  However, we felt like he was doing well at home.  He was starting to use more and more words, and would use sign language when he couldn’t verbalize something.  He would run, jump, climb and play with his brothers, and was truly a delightful, vibrant part of our family.  Still, as his mother, I would wonder if there wasn’t something more we could be doing for him.

At one of the parent support-group meetings for families with special needs in our area, I picked up a brochure for Blue Mountain Therapeutic Riding.  I admit, I was a skeptic at the start.  Our past experiences with therapy had made me hesitant to expect any real therapeutic benefits, but I knew Matthew would enjoy the experience.  He loved animals of all kinds, but horses were his favorite.  We decided to enroll Matthew, and see how it went.

Matthew loved every single minute he was able to spend with his therapy horse.  His smile would be so big, and his eyes would be so bright, that it would often bring tears to my own eyes to see him so happy.  My little guy who struggled to speak would talk endlessly about his horse.  He would be so excited to ride, that he would talk all the way to his riding lesson, and all the way home.  His instructors also insisted that he use the correct commands, spoken loudly and clearly to the horse.  This was speech therapy, but Matthew didn’t know it!

I was also surprised by the benefits therapeutic riding provided for improving Matthew’s core strength and balance. During that first summer, he needed volunteers to hold both of his legs to keep him from slipping off the horse.  But, as he gained balance and strength, playing “airplane” or “picking apples” while riding bare-back, it became obvious that this was physical therapy, too.  By the second summer, he had graduated to a saddle and stirrups, and by the third summer, he was holding the reins.

We were thrilled that Matthew’s speech was improving, and that he was gaining strength and balance, but there was still more.  Matthew would often stop his horse by the fence to wave and say, “I did it, Mommy!  Look at me!  I did it myself!”  The pride and confidence he gained is absolutely priceless.

There are therapeutic benefits that are harder to put into words, too.  If we had a tough day, riding would fix it.  If Matthew was struggling and frustrated with something, riding would ease his stress.  If he wasn’t feeling well that day, he would feel better while he was on his horse.  I will forever be thankful that we found therapeutic riding for Matthew.  I truly can’t say enough wonderful things about it, or the patient, kind instructors and volunteers at Blue Mountain Therapeutic Riding.  Thank you for all that you do.  We can’t wait for the Summer session to start!

Jesse got to enjoy a beautiful evening ride, too!

Kid Quiz

Last Tuesday, Nathan broke my nose.  I was laying down with him, putting him to bed, when he sat up, then flung himself backwards and hit my nose with the back of his hard head.  I had to have it surgically reset on Friday, so we have been taking it easy for the last few days.

I used a little bit of the down time to interview the kids individually with questions a friend had sent me.  I hope you enjoy their answers – I sure did!

 

1. What is something I always say to you?

Micah (10): “Let’s go outside.”

Matthew (8): “God.”

Jesse (6): “Jesse!  Jesse!”

Mikayla (3): “No movies before school.”

2. What makes me happy?

“When I clean up the kitchen”

“Crazy”

“When I take care of you”

“Taking care of your nose.”

3. What makes me sad?

“When Nathan gets hurt”

“Hospital”

“When I choose to not follow God”

“When we start a bath by ourselves without any grownups”

4. How do I make you laugh?

“Tickling”

“Ice cream cake!”

“Doing something so fun that I laugh”

“Playing with Nathan’s bammer”

5. What was I like when I was little?

“You had glasses”

“five”

“Just like me!”

“You wore the tight flower jammies”

6. How old am I?

“34”

“10”

“13”

“27”

How tall am I?

“5’6″”

“8”

“Normal”

“98”

8. What is my favorite thing to do?

“Not break your nose”

“Candles”

“Snuggle with me”

“cook”

9. What do I do when you’re not around?

“Go to ice cream shops”

“Garden”

“Talk with Daddy and clean up the kitchen”

“I don’t know”

10. What am I really good at?

“singing”

“Hiding”

“being beautiful”

“cooking”

11. What am I not very good at?

“catching chickens”

“kudu”

“Nothing”

“singing funny like Daddy”

12. What do I do for a job?

“be my mom”

“working”

“Take care of your own kids”

“Putting Nathan to bed”

13.What is my favorite food?

“cheese-stuffed mushrooms”

“muffin”

“Thai food”

“Muffins”

Regional Birthright Conference

I had the privilege of sharing Matthew’s story at the Regional Birthright Conference today. It was such an honor, and so great to be there!  I couldn’t have asked for a warmer, more welcoming audience. Thanks for inviting me, Birthright!

As promised, here are the links I mentioned today during the presentation:

BeNotAfraid.net is an excellent resource for any parents facing an adverse prenatal diagnosis.  It is full of stories from parents who refused abortion, even when facing devastating medical circumstances.  It offers support and encouragement for parents who face any kind of medical issues with their baby during pregnancy.

Raising A Boy Who Wasn’t Supposed to Live is the article about Matthew that was published on the “What to Expect When You are Expecting” website, and viewed over one million times.

Matthew’s Miracle: The Healing of a Broken Heart is a more complete version of Matthew’s story.

Thank you again for having me today.  If you have any questions or comments for me, please feel free to contact me at: amyvawter@gmail.com.

Turn Around, and You’re Eight!

Oh my!  Has it really been a year since my last post?  I guess I have been too busy living life to blog about it!

Matthew the Miracle turned EIGHT this week!  When the boys asked Matthew, “What kind of birthday do you want?,” and gave him options such as “race car birthday, pirate birthday, glow-stick birthday, balloon birthday…” he replied, “Church birthday!  Father-David!” We were able to start his day of celebration with a beautiful Mass celebrated by Fr. David. I love this kid’s heart, and he has already taught us so much. I can’t wait to see what else God has planned for his life!

Our mission for this birthday was to find a bicycle Matthew could ride.  He has long outgrown our little tricycle, and never liked the feeling of the balance-bike.  Even a bike with training wheels felt too unsteady for him, and he would give up.  We needed something fun, exciting, steady, and easy to pedal and steer.  We looked at adaptive tricycles made for children with special needs, but with price tags of $2K-$6K, those were out of the question!

Then, we found the Mobito on Amazon.com.  It was exactly what we were looking for.  It fits Matthew perfectly on the smallest setting, and will be able to grow with him for many years.  It looks so “cool,” and is so fun to ride, that all of the other kids beg for a turn on it, too!

Matthew is growing up in so many way.  His speech is becoming clearer and clearer, and he is now able to sound out simple words in addition to reading over 50 sight-words.  We are so proud!