Not Me! Monday

Welcome to my first Not Me! Monday post! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog, www.mycharmingkids.net to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.  MckMama also has a son, Stellan, whose heart was miraculously healed.  His story is worth reading, too.

But, just for fun today, here’s the idea:  We write about things we most certainly did NOT do … but of course, we really DID – it’s just more fun to write about it this way.  So.. here goes.  Here are the things that did NOT (*wink* *wink*) happen around here lately.

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While Aaron was out of town, I did NOT lose track of time while letting the kids play outside Saturday afternoon.  Not me.  It was a beautiful day, but we needed to get to the Saturday vigil Mass.  We were meeting my parents there, who were also taking care of my brother’s kids for the weekend.  I do NOT always arrange to go to church with my parents when Aaron is out of town … nope … I can handle all 3 kids in Mass by myself … no problem …

So, of course, I was NOT rushed to get the kids ready … because Matthew did NOT sit in the mud – and he did NOT try to eat it, subsequently smearing it all over his face.  Nope, my Matthew would NEVER do such a thing.  So, he did NOT require a bath before Mass.

I had set out the boys’ church clothes, … their cute little matching green button-ups, perfect for spring with matching khaki pants and a cute green outfit for Jesse – but I did NOT forget to set out socks for Micah.  While bathing Matthew, I was NOT yelling calling out instructions to Micah – not me.  So, I would NOT have told Micah to go look in the spare bedroom for a pair of socks.  Nope – we do NOT EVER have a giant pile of clean but unfolded laundry in the spare bedroom – not at my house!  So Micah would NOT have said, “Mommy, I can only find a blue one and a red one.”  And, in my hurry, I would NOT have yelled back, “That’s O.K, Micah.  No one will see your socks since you will have shoes on!”

Micah did NOT say, “Mommy, I can’t find my shoes,” because Micah’s shoes are ALWAYS in the closet where he can find them easily.  Yes, my kids ALWAYS put things in their place.  But I was NOT so busy with the babies that I forgot about a certain 4-year-old’s shoes.  So, when I called “Micah, get in the car!” he would NOT have figured, “Oh well, I guess I don’t need shoes today.”  He hopped in the back seat of the minivan and buckled up, just like I had asked.

As I pulled in the parking lot of the church, the car clock did NOT say “5:31,” and as I slung the diaper bag over my shoulder, placed Matthew on one hip to carry and Jesse on the other, I did NOT look ridiculous or overwhelmed.  And I was NOT horrified to see my 4-year old climbing out of the car with one red sock and one blue … no shoes.  Nope.  This would NEVER happen to us.

We did NOT make a scene AT ALL with Micah parading in front with his colorful socks, and me trailing behind with the diaper bag and more than my hands full, carrying 40+ pounds of baby between the two of them all the way to the front of the church where my parents were sitting.  Never.

In the middle of Mass, my Micah did NOT ask to show his cousins his “Lightning McQueen” band-aid, which he had earned earlier that day for a scraped knee.  Nope – we do NOT buy “licensed character” stuff for our kids … and Micah did NOT pout when we told him he had to wait until after Mass.  Not MY Micah.

So, after Mass, Micah certainly would NOT have raced out the doors to the front steps of the church, only to DROP HIS DRAWERS COMPLETELY in order to show his cousins his band-aid on his knee.  And, even if he did, we would NEVER have been so unfortunate to have his little Lightning McQueen briefs come down with the pants, leaving my Micah completely exposed on the front church steps.  No way – that could NEVER happen to us!  And I was NOT embarrassed at ALL.

And after Mass, we didn’t get ANY comments about Micah’s socks.  Nope.  NOBODY noticed.  And even if they did, they would NOT have told Micah, “It’s FUN to come to church without shoes, isn’t it?!”  And, even if they did, I would NOT have blurted out:  “NO!!  It’s NOT!!  It’s NOT FUN!!”  Because, you see, I’m calm and composed, and was certainly NOT flustered by that point … and would never contradict a sweet old lady at church.

And, my dad was certainly NOT laughing the entire time.

….. somehow nobody noticed their cute little matching outfits that day.

Oh, and by the way – this most certainly did NOT happen a full 2 weeks ago now.  I would NOT let that much time go by before documenting something like that, because I NEVER get behind.

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At our last Shriner’s appointment (which I have NOT neglected to write about … see above – I NEVER get behind), Jesse was given a cute little “Shriner’s” hat, complete with tassel.  As soon as they gave it to him, my first thought was NOT “I can’t wait to put it on Matthew while he rides his trike!”  Nope.  Not me.  I would never do something like that for a laugh.

And, just for the record, we do NOT duct tape Matthew’s feet to the pedals of his tricycle to enable him to ride it.  At least … not any more.  Now, we have stylish red velcro straps to strap his feet down, and he rides away!  And, I did NOT spend ANY time thinking about whether or not I could get some bicycle “clip” shoes in toddler size 6 … nope … I have much better things to spend my time thinking about!

And, we make sure that Matthew ALWAYS dressed stylishly and properly.  NO goofiness.

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7 thoughts on “Not Me! Monday

  1. This is GREAT!! How many times as moms do we have a very flustered day getting our kids to church in one piece . . . I love the part about Micah dropping his pants i front of the church . . . ha ha!! I am sure it wasn’t so funny for you at the time, though. It will make a great story for him as he gets older!

  2. Wouldn’t be quite so fun to read if I hadn’t experienced much of that for myself just not all on the same day. You are doing a great job taking care of your kids and those are the adventures that stress us out in the moment and then keep us laughing for ever.

  3. Awesome post Amy! I can totally sympathize, but you make it sound so entertaining this way. A great way to laugh it off!

  4. What a great Not Me! Monday post! I was laughing as I read it- in a sympathethic, been-there, done-that way. Oh- the joys of three boys!

  5. Oh my, I had heard about Micah’s mismatched socks, but nobody told me about the dropped drawers. I was laughing so hard I was in tears! Sorry for the embarrassment, and I’m sure we’ll have similar stories once our little guy is a bit older… Oh, and I loved your little shriner with his red velcro toe straps!

  6. Great story, what a day!! I read about your NM!M! post too late – I’ll try to write one next week.

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