Mostly good news . . . but mostly wasn’t what I was hoping for. I was really wanting a “perfect” ultrasound report with this baby.
We were with the same technician, and in the same room that we were in when we first learned about Matthew’s heart problems. This time, though, Aaron was with me. The ultrasound tech is very good, and was extremely patient with my barrage of questions as she scanned the baby head-to-toe. “Did you see a clear nasal bone? Does the lip and palate look o.k.? How are the long bones measuring compared to gestational age?” She reassuringly answered every question, confirming that everything looked fine. She took time to show us clear heart pictures – four good-looking chambers, balanced in size and pumping just the way they should.
“Did you get a good look at both kidneys? Does the umbilical cord look good? Could you see all the vessels? Oh – it’s a boy!” Again, she answered “yes” to every question.
When she started to look at his legs and feet, she got quiet for a minute, and started taking a bunch of pictures. I saw exactly what she was looking at. “He has a club foot, doesn’t he?” Her silence was my confirmation. I had seen enough of Matthew’s ultrasounds, with his 2 club feet, to know what we were seeing.
Our ultrasound was a week ago, but I still have so many mixed feelings. I am relieved and grateful that this little guy looks healthy – everything looked great except for his little left foot. I’m still trying to see things realistically, put things in perspective, but it is still very hard to hear that something, anything, is “wrong” with your baby – no matter how “small.”
We have a lot of reasons to be optimistic:
- -it’s just a foot – not a heart, brain, kidney, etc.
- -it’s fixable, often without surgery.
- -Matthew’s “club feet” showed up on every ultrasound, but had self-corrected by 6 months of age.
- -My mom and I can both invert our left feet into the “club feet” position with no problem whatsoever. Flexible feet just run in our family. It’s possible that this baby just has his mom’s funky left foot, and I’ve done just fine aside from a little pigeon-toed teasing.
But, I still have my worries:
- -What if it is a “real” club foot that does need casting or surgery? I know that it’s not as big as open-heart surgery, but I’m not sure that what we went through with Matthew makes this any easier to deal with, or takes away from the fact that it will still be difficult, especially with 2 other little boys to care for at the same time?
- -What if it is just my hereditary “flexible foot,” but doctors pressure us into casting anyway? What if we torture this child with casts and orthotics unnecessarily?
- -What if it’s not “just a foot”?
Once again, I’m asking for your prayers.